Here's something for your New Years' entertainment! A
message from our Melody herself!
I decided to write this one myself since I’ve reached a more
manageable place in terms of energy.
I don’t have quite the flare my husband has with the “pen”, but wanted the
list of my loved ones that Glen sends updates to, to
hear direct from the 99 pound horse’s mouth herself
My days and weeks are blending into one another. Time has lost all meaning.
Life feels like an endless routine of management.
Here are a few highlights since you last heard from Glen.
My work every day has been about balance. Balancing digestion. Balancing
nausea. Balancing energy. Balancing thoughts. Balancing emotions.
Balancing digestion has been tricky. Particularly since my first chemo
treatment was December 21st and suddenly my doctors and their staff went on
vacation. Even reaching the advice nurse through Kaiser meant a TWELVE hour
wait time.
I became four days constipated with a great deal of pain and cramping by
Christmas Day.
Here, I digress…
In the past, being Jewish, we celebrated Christmas Day with me making a
favorite recipe, German Pancakes, and then a group of us going to the movies
and out for Chinese food in the evening. Since the grandchildren were born
and the pandemic hit, it’s been German Pancakes, gifts for the children
(they get Hanukkah AND Christmas presents as did Anna when she was growing
up—as a child, when a person asked Anna what religion she was, she promptly
replied, “I’m Hanukkah AND Christmas!”).
That obviously didn’t happen this Christmas.
Back to Christmas Day 2021…
By noon with so much pain and several days on laxatives…and in hopes of
getting an enema (there’s a Christmas wish for you), we went to the hospital
to rule out some kind of blockage (as you may recall, a portion of my colon?
Intestine? I don’t even remember what the surgeon removed and repaired but
blockage was a concern).
The day was very difficult.
They drew blood (I cannot begin to count the number of blood draws and IVs
I’ve had since the weekend of November 6th/7th when we found out I might
have ovarian cancer) and had us wait in the waiting room. While waiting, I
used the restroom and miraculously produced a bowel movement
.
But a doctor in charge said he wanted me stay to have the CT scan anyway
since I’m a “complex case” (Glen confirmed that as true).
This was to be my 4th CT scan since finding out I might have cancer the
weekend of November 6th/7th.
We spent at least an hour and half in the waiting room before we got a
private room. Lots of waiting. We were at the hospital from noon-7 p.m.
total. They did an EKG, gave me fluids and anti nausea meds through an IV
and finally after a couple hours, took me in for the scan.
The CT scan THANKFULLY
revealed no blockage (if there had been one, life would have become a lot
more difficult). But it did reveal some fluid of unknown origin. And of
course, a LOT of backed up stool.
An OBGYN who saw me at one point in the hospital after surgery and who was
familiar with my oncologist/gynecologist examined me and evaluated the scan.
she wanted me to stay overnight for observation. She was concerned the fluid
could be abscess or infection but said I had no other symptoms—so just
observation.
Glen and I discussed and determined it would be better for me all around if
I went home. We promised to come back if pain increased or I developed a
fever, etc.
She also said no to an enema. With the surgery I had, they don’t want
anything entering my body with potential for causing infection.
So I was discharged and sent home in the same pain I came in with and the
two of us having gone all day without eating. Oy.
Merry Christmas?
Once home, I was so nauseous and then got an upsetting call that my mom was
being transported to the hospital—that I vomited. Mom is fine now. She was
dehydrated, received fluids, and is doing well now—91 and doing better than
me bless her!!
My digestion started working again (I’m not kidding—about 8-10 bowel
movements over the next two days—I felt like a queen—on the throne most of
the day).
Boy, I’m glad Glen writes these—I’m a long story-teller.
I had my best day yesterday with very little nausea and no stomach pain and
enough energy to be out of bed all day and dressed! I even got to see the
grandkids (they have stayed isolated since on winter break and they all
tested first and came to visit). That was glorious. Only the second time
I’ve seen them (other than daily FaceTiming where Sierra grabs the phone and
takes me all over their house—hilarious).
But by evening, I had realized I had gone two days without pooping and
panicked that I would get constipated again so I took a laxative. A
CHILDREN’S laxative. And I had severe diarrhea from 6 p.m.-1 a.m. —so I took
a half dose immodium. Oy.
My poor digestive system. Please direct your prayers for me right there.
Finally got through to my oncologist this morning and giving my digestive
system a break from everything. Eating gentle foods today and taking it
easy.
No nausea so far today!
No stomach pain!
Solid bowel movement today!
Not much energy—but enough to write this update.
I’m managing balancing my mental and emotional body with lots of guided
meditation. I do these during the day and in the middle of the night as
well.
And what continues to heal me is the outpouring of love I’ve received from
so many of you — family and friends—in the form of prayers, cards, texts,
phone calls, flowers, email, gifts, food…I’m floored by how much love I’m
gifted with. Crying as I write this. I am on my knees with gratitude, and I
don’t doubt for one moment that I’m actually doing as well as I am (I am
aware with all the challenges, this could be MUCH MUCH worse) because of
each and every one of you.
There is so much more beyond modern medicine that heals. You are my best
medicine.
And I can’t end without saying something (publicly) about my immediate
family …
Mom, you’ve been wonderful—kind, loving, generous. Beyond belief. Thank you
Mom — not just for giving me life—but for being there for me all through my
70 years. I know how hard this must be for you to know I’m going through
this. Stay strong and healthy. I need you
My kids have been incredible as they always are—dropping off wonderful
meals, checking on me constantly, supporting me in so many ways I can’t
possibly list them all. Anna, Corey, Emma, Gavin, and Sierra thank you for
making this life so worth fighting for. You are my Joy. You are at the core
of how hard I will work to stay here a long long time. Thank you for being
my life-force
And my husband. The one who puts up with the very worst side of me. The one
who is up all night with me when I’m up. The one who is doing all the
work—his own enormous job at the ACLU—the household stuff I always
did—being my full time caregiver…you really took our vows seriously. I am
stunned by how you’ve stepped up to this. I am eternally grateful. Thank
you. Thank you. Thank you. Glen, where would I be right now without you?
I never want to know.
And now to gear up for chemo #2 of 6 coming up on January 11th.
I’ll be ready!
With love and deep gratitude ~m